Keep Calm - The Hobbit 3 Will Release in 347 Days

My ticket - a treasure

The Hobbit - a magical book written by the genius J.R.R. Tolkien.  Enjoyed for the last 75 years by readers of all ages, now The Hobbit has been brought to life on screen by none other than Peter Jackson (yet another genius).  I read the book ages and ages ago but at the time that the first Hobbit movie came out, the only thing I could remember from the story was that a younger Bilbo goes on an adventure with Gandalf and some dwarves to a mountain containing both gold and a dragon.  I did not remember anything about the journey, the dwarves, the ending - nothing.  Then I watched the first movie and I fell in love again with the story!  I was tempted to reread the book to find out what happens to everyone because, of course, I'm curious.  But I didn't - I decided to wait for the next movie.  I wanted to be able to be surprised in the theater when I saw The Desolation of Smaug.  I'm sure I could have read the book first and still enjoyed the movie but that's the decision I made.

Hannah, I know at this point you're whining, "Racheeeeeellllle, this is too long - get to the point!"  If I were there in person while you were reading this I would respond with a sharp, "Hush and keep reading."

I love taking pics in front of the posters :-)

So anyway, on the first day of 2014, I went to the theater with some family members and we got great
seats.  From the very beginning, I was captivated by the story woven on screen.  I spent 2 hours and 40 minutes alternating between being on the edge of my seat, giving audible, "YeAH!"s, smiling with delight, covering my eyes, elbowing Hannah with whispered remarks, and constantly asking myself, "WHAT is going to happen next?!".  Since I've traveled this path, let me walk you through some of that amazingness that is The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

*I don't think that this review contains any spoilers but if I'm wrong and I spoil something for you, I'm sorry!

Now, Peter Jackson had some great material to work with - Tolkien's Middle Earth tales are gold.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Jackson made some alterations (they always do when they turn a book into a movie) but the story remains marvelous.  We watch a hobbit, who's never left the comfort of home before, face danger and uncertainty on a huge level over an extended period of time.  This movie takes place 1 year after the first - Bilbo and the company of dwarves/Gandalf have been walking through Middle Earth, bent on their mission of reaching the Lonely Mountain, doing battle with Orcs and the like, for A YEAR!  What perseverance!

And to think that I complain about the hardships of being on an exercise bike for 45 minutes.  I shame myself. 

It was great to get a little back story on what happened that led up to the dwarves meeting Gandalf at Bilbo's house.  Rabbit trail: I appreciated Peter Jackson's cameo in Bree - I like when I can tell that it's him (his cameo in the first Hobbit movie was too difficult - I had to look it up).  Back on the path!  We find the company closer to the lonely mountain but getting there becomes increasingly difficult.  One difficulty is a forest of disgusting, huge spiders.  Bilbo is initially the savior of the group in that instance (I just love that he actually jumps in and saves people's lives as opposed to needing someone to save him - more on that later) but even this brave, vest-wearing Watson can't battle the entire horde of spiders that comes after them so of course, cue Legolas and his band of merry elves, fighting in all their elven glory.  Indeed, throughout this entire film, there are some really cool action scenes where we see the elves (especially Legolas) perform fun feats.  It's like they're ninja gymnasts but we get to see their faces and their long hair, free from the confines of a bun, somehow remains looking smooth throughout the entire ordeal.  I would say it's a miracle but I know that they're elves - that's just how they roll.

King Thranduil - I don't like him.

Speaking of elves, I don't like Thranduil.  Look at this face!  Even without watching him on screen,
you can just sense that:

#1: He's a little nuts.
#2: He has a thing for himself and power.
#3: He's not to be trusted.

This fashionista is not cool and I'm sad that Legolas is his son.
(Interesting tidbit: did you know that Orlando Bloom is actually 2 years older than Lee Pace?!)

Moving on to Tauriel, I couldn't help but still see Kate from Lost when I looked at her face.  It wasn't necessarily bad but it is a fact.  I'm not sure yet what I think of her role in all of this.  I know that she's Jackson invented (not in Tolkien's work) and it's not a bad role - I just don't know how necessary it was to create a love triangle.  On the one hand, it's a nice break from the constant walk, run, flash swords, run, etc.  On the other hand - really?  With a dwarf that she just met?  She's willing to disobey her king, leave their forest, pursue a band of bloodthirsty orcs herself - all for a dwarf that she had exactly one conversation with?  I'm not sure it's very believable.  But oh well - it didn't bother me.  Indeed, I am intrigued to find out this little pickle gets solved in the next movie!

'OhmygoshLegolaslookOUT!' face

Speaking of elves and bloodthirsty orcs, I was impressed that the fight scenes kept me so on the edge of my seat!  Even during fighting scenes involving characters that I knew had to live because they were in Lord of the Rings, I was still worried.  For example, I caught myself saying, "OhmygoshLegolaslookOUT!".  Yes, they were that good.    I thought that a main character was going to die at one point - I was just sure we were going to have another 'Sean-Bean-arrows-in-his-chest-slow-motion-style' episode and I was going to be so mad.  My tear ducts were on standby and the fires of intense anger were being stoked...but then it didn't happen after all.  *whew* Close one.
I did have to close my eyes once or twice during fight scenes (beheadings of orcs and manual dismantling of spiders are pretty gross) but that's fine.

In the later half of the movie, we're treated to a new area of Middle Earth - Laketown.  With that,

Bard: solemn, good bowman, possibly Will Turner's older brother

comes some new characters - the most indelible of which is Bard.  Indelible why, you ask?

#1. He wears a coat that although it looks like it's seen better days, is still pretty cool.  I want one.
#2. He could TOTALLY be Will Turner's older brother and I know I'm not the only one who thinks so.
#3. He's a bigger part of this Smaug drama than what initially meets the eye.
#4. Last but certainly not least, he's a good guy.  Thorin and Co. don't want to trust him but fooey on them.  He was good to his word.  And Bard wants what's best for his family and his community.  His arguments against Thorin's plan are pretty legit - he's thinking realistically.

Also, we took a 'Which Hobbit Character Are You?' quiz and it says that I'm Bard :-)


Now, we come to Smaug, the stupendous.  I was surprised that he did so much talking - but how wonderful!  Benedict never fails to rise to the occasion.  His voicing of Smaug was brilliant - just brilliant.  Gave me goosebumps.  The exchange between Bilbo and Smaug intrigued me.  Bilbo's answer to Smaug's 'Who are you?' was marvelous - just marvelous!

Bilbo Baggins: hobbit, adventurer, cleverest and bravest of them all!

Speaking of Bilbo, can we just wrap this up with my very favorite character?!  Bilbo, with his fantastic vests and facial expressions - he is a wonder.  Here he is, on his very first adventure, actually swinging his sword, taking out wargs and orcs, being the one to save others instead of always needing to be saved.  Bilbo is courageous in a way that Frodo is not.  Bilbo gets things done in a way that Frodo can not.  Now, I like Frodo - he's a good character!  But he pales in comparison to Bilbo.  Bilbo is quick on his feet both literally and figuratively.  The responses to both Gollum (in the first movie) and Smaug i(n this one) are clever.  Bilbo is fair and just, he doesn't give up, even when everyone else does, and he sees the good in people.  What a guy.  What a hobbit.  Three cheers for Bilbo Baggins!!!

Now, I think that'll do it for now.  I would like to remind you that I have NO IDEA how the next movie will end.  I watched that cliff hanger and resolved to not read the book, look anything up online, or talk to anyone about the ending because I want to be very surprised in the theater next December.  Please do NOT give anything away to me :-D

Now, if you haven't seen The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, GO SEE IT!  :-D